I realized as I was leaving the group yesterday that even though I only see these women once a month, I feel like I know what's going on in their lives on a daily basis. I feel this way because we all have blogs, and we all read each other's blogs. And leave comments on each other's blogs. I've decided that comments on blogs are the new calling cards. It's like having a virtual visit. Not as good as face-to-face, but still. When you're home with kids all day, it's nice to have an escape, if only one via technology. (BTW, links to the blogs of these wonderful women friends of mine are to the left under the "My Friends' Blogs" heading, so check them out!)
In other news, Imogen loves hanging out in her highchair now, even if all she's eating is the table.
We're now towards the end of Autism Awareness Month, so here's my two cents for today. There are pros and cons of a dedicated awareness month for any issue. Pro: raising awareness and educating people about said issue. Con: it's only one month. As a friend of mine says, shouldn't every month be autism awareness month? I have to agree. But I do want to say that I appreciate the extra attention that autism receives in April each year.
I think one of the most challenging things about being a parent of a child with autism is trying to explain to someone who doesn't know or live with an individual with autism what it's like when you do. I certainly don't have the time or the energy to explain things to the cashier at the grocery check out or the librarian giving my loud son the evil eye, but what I find more difficult is explaining the issue to friends - those people who are well-intentioned and love my son.
And it's not answering questions about autism or Elliot's progress that's the problem. It's figuring out how to respond to comments such as, "but he seems just fine," or, "you'd never know from looking at him," or, "well, all kids do that." These comments, offered I have no doubt with love and reassurance, are loaded. First, they imply that he's broken or that there's something wrong with him, which is a controversial issue in the autism world unto itself. Second, they completely negate the exhausting and challenging daily life that is parenting a child on the spectrum. Finally, they imply that the person making the statement knows something either we or one of Elliot's many specialists and caregivers don't know about our son, and that all of us who spend hours a day with Elliot are somehow mistaken about him being on the spectrum in the first place.
None of these implications are the intentions of the people offering the comments, I know. These are people I love and whose company I enjoy. I think the problem is that to someone only spending brief periods of time with a child on the spectrum, especially one who is high functioning (in that he is verbal, makes good eye contact, is affectionate, etc.), the disorder can seem invisible. I would guess this is also the case with mental illness. But can you imagine saying to someone whose child has a heart defect or some other physical condition, "but he seems just fine"? So, I feel that the more the general public learns about autism and how it affects the individual on the spectrum as well as the family members who love and care for that individual, the better. And not so that we'll receive their pity, because we love our son just the way he is, but so that we'll have their educated support.
So, come call on us. We love the company, and Elliot would love to take you on a virtual elevator ride.
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